Geekscape Reviews “Magic Mike”

It is going to be difficult to seperate my review of Magic Mike-the movie, versus Magic Mike- the midnight movie going experience. Because the movie itself was…well, it was fine, occasionally better than fine, but a Hell of lot better when it was made fifteen years ago and called Boogie Nights. On the other hand, Magic Mike the moviegoing experience was a very interesting window into the psyche of the average American female moviegoer. And that was the more fascinating venture to be sure.

Let me review the experience first; the 12AM screening of the movie I went to was something like 95% women, with a 5% smattering of gay men like myself for good measure. These women and girls, many who got dressed up for the occasion (there were many bare shoulders and big shoes to be found in my theater, and even one or two pairs of felt cat ears) were screeching and hollering at loud volumes well before the movie started. Now, I’ve been to my fair share of male geek- centric midnight shows in my days– Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Batman, you name it–and I’ve never heard as loud a scream from an audience as when we first see Channing Tatum’s naked ass within the first five minutes of this movie. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is quite a fine ass…but I doubt there was ever that loud of a cheer even when the Death Star got destroyed back in 1977. The women were pretty much orgasming in their seats…. it was nuts. I’ve never really wanted to be a woman before (as much as I love and relate to women on multiple levels, I’m rather fond of my penis thank you.) but I’ll admit if I could get that damn hot and bothered like that from just seeing some hot guy’s ass on a movie screen for a few seconds, well….It almost made me wish I had one of those other things down there instead, especially if that’s all it takes.

Matthew McConaughey easily steals the show as club owner Dallas.

As for the movie itself, well…we’ve seen this A Star is Born story a million times before, sometimes done better, often done worse. Director Steven Soderbergh doesn’t bring anything new to the table here I’m sorry to say, but he doesn’t make a terrible movie either.  The movie centers around Adam, played by British actor Alex Pettyfer. He’s  all of 19 and just moved to Tampa Florida to live on his sister’s couch. While on a roofing job he finds on craigslist, he meets Channing Tatum’s “Magic” Mike Martingano, who sees potential in Adam and before too long, takes him under his wing into the world of male stripping. Adam fills in one night at Xquisite, the strip joint owned by a former stripper named Dallas (Matthew McConaughey) where Mike works. Dallas is by far the best thing in this movie; McConaughey goes totally over the top with his character, and every moment with him on screen is a blast. Dallas is vain and ridiculous, and just that much fun to watch. He’s kind of like the father figure to all his strippers, and I wish the movie gave us more of him. Adam is quickly given the new nickname “the Kid,” and just like that he’s off and running in the world of male stripping.

Among the rest of the group of strippers are Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganeillo from True Blood) Ken (Matt Bomer from White Collar) Tito (Adam Rodriguez from CSI Miami) and Tarzan (wrestler Kevin Nash) who frankly, is too ugly too even be in the same room  as the rest of the guys I just mentioned; I don’t care how hot your body is if you look like Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. In any case, my first big complaint here is that all of these guys are pretty much wasted in this movie. I suppose if you go to see them just get naked, you’ll be satisfied, but that’s all they do; none of these guys are given any characterization or personality quirks really at all. They are just visual props, which is fine I guess…it just seems odd to get so many established actors to do what you could have paid a bunch of real male strippers to do, and probably for a lot less money. Also among the ensemble cast are comedian Gabriel Iglesias as the club’s DJ, and Olivia Munn as Mike’s bisexual booty call buddy, a grad student named Joanne. Joanne is actually one of the more interesting characters in the movie, or at least one of the more well rounded. Sadly, she’s barely in the movie for more than a cameo. Credit where credit is due, Soderbergh made me actually like Olivia Munn, one of those faux celebrities that I usually can’t stand. Not an easy task, so props to you sir.

For a movie about male strippers, you’d think we’d get at least some full frontal male nudity, if only for a moment. All we get is a blurry shot of Joe Manganellio’s penis in one of those penis enlarger pumps, and it probably isn’t even a real penis. I call shenanigans.

So young Adam and “Magic” Mike conveniently become instant BFF’s (something Adam even makes kind of a joke about in the movie) and Adam’s sister Paige (Cody Horn) is none too happy with his new career choice. In fact, Paige is seemingly never happy about anything…she spends almost the entire movie with a perpetual pout on her face, with this look of “I Hate Fun” tattooed on her forehead. She has a playful flirty vibe with Mike, her brother’s new mentor, but by the end of the movie we are supposed to think it was some great love affair waiting to happen, and I just never bought into that. I was never rooting for them to get together much because she seems like she had a stick up her ass the whole time, and Tatum just isn’t very compelling as an actor when he’s not naked and dancing up a storm. Which, to be fair, he does very, very well. That white boy can move. But as an actor, he seems to have no range.

And there lies this movie’s biggest problem, and that is that neither of the leads, either Channing Tatum or Alex Pettyfer’s characters, are particularly interesting characters at all.  They’re both just typical white “bro dude” types, the kind that would be in some douchey frat had they gone to college. They’re both lucky they’re so good looking, because they have the personalities of dry toast. The only thing remotely interesting about Mike’s character is that he makes custom furniture. And that’s it. That’s what passes for giving him layers. See, he doesn’t just strip and hook up with ho’s and drink beer, he makes tables! And poor Adam doesn’t even have that going for him. They seem like overall nice guys, but really just the kind of guys that are pretty much good for one thing. Maybe that’s why I liked Olivia Munn’s character in this movie, as she seems to be the only one who understands this fact in the movie and points it out. The movie clearly wants us to think she’s a bitch for seeing things that way, but from where I sat she sees it like it is.

When it comes to this movie, for me it is hard not to think of Boogie Nights when watching it and constantly compare the two, because Magic Mike lifts almost the entire structure off of PT Anderson’s now classic 1997 film. For example,  just like in Boogie Nights, the character of Adam is a teenager picked from obscurity and brought into a life of instant money and sex and drugs, and is given a new identity as “the Kid.” This is just like Mark Whalberg’s character in Boogie Nights, Eddie, who becomes porn star Dirk Diggler. The Kid and Magic Mike both get too big for their britches, and have a confrontation with their mentor figure, both while high as kites, another scene almost identical to the one in Boogie Nghts where Mark Whalberg has a drugged out falling out with mentor figure Burt Reynolds. There is even a scene towards the end where Mike has an epiphany about his life of excess, and Soderbergh has the camera fix on his face, frozen in contemplation for almost a good minute, almost exactly like the scene in Boogie Nights where Mark Whalberg’s character does the exact same thing. Except in that movie, that scene also had Alfred Molina in a speedo with an Asian rent boy lighting fire crackers in his living room with Sister Christian playing in the background and was way, WAY more memorable.

And where Boogie Nights takes place over several years, Magic Mike takes place over one summer. In June, our young newbie Adam can’t dance at all, but by July he’s doing complicated choreography and experimenting with drugs, and by August he’s a full on junkie and a drug dealer to boot. That seemed rather forced and silly to me. Another thing that Boogie Nights does a million times better is giving all the minor characters things to do. Much like the “family” of porn stars in Boogie Nights, Magic Mike has a similar “family” of male strippers, only they’re not given anything to do. I guess it’s just enough for the target audience that they’re there and they’re naked. I hate to constantly compare this movie to PT Anderson’s breakthrough film from the 90’s, but it just lifts so much of the structure and even the basic story itself that I just can’t help but compare the two at every turn, and in comparison to Boogie Nights, Magic Mike doesn’t even come close.

Still, Magic Mike has its moments, and gets by on a certain kind of effortless charm. Steven Soderbergh shot the movie in almost a documentary style, and the script and performances feel naturalistic and real, with the exception of Matthew McConaughey’s character, who provides some much needed crazy personality to the proceedings. While most movies about women in similar professions, from Coyote Ugly to Striptease to the infamous Showgirls always make ridiculous caricatures of the people who choose this kind of lifestyle, Magic Mike at least treats them like real human beings. They’re just not particularly interesting human beings is the problem.

Supposedly, this movie is based on Channing Tatum’s real life as a teenage stripper , although from what I hear that was far more interesting (and not so exclusively hetero. Google that shit.) as this movie portrays. Originally, Drive and Bronson director Nicolas Winding Refn was slated to direct, and I can’t help think we would have gotten something edgier and more interesting than what we ended up with if he had, but also probably a lot less commercial. As it stands now, Magic Mike is only edgy if you’ve never seen a naked man before, which judging from the audience reaction is clearly a lot of people.  Luckily, the naked men in this movie are mostly really hot, so if that sounds like fun for you, by all means check out Magic Mike. And if you can, see it with an audience of horny women, and you’ll probably think the movie is much better than it actually is.