Fantasy Booking: Royal Rumble 2017

MATCH 1: Cesaro & Sheamus vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

Cesaro & Sheamus: The current Raw Tag Champions and the unlikely duo of two foreign guys who kinda don’t like each other but are good at punching, kicking and swinging stuff.

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson: They were yuge in Japan, like incredible. WWE has kinda made them dull but hopefully Sunday WWE can MAKE THE CLUB GREAT AGAIN

WHO WILL WIN:

Matt – We can only hope that WWE does what it probably should have done almost a year ago and put the belts on The Club. They were beyond over in New Japan and had all it took to just be an incredible and dominating tag team but for some reason WWE thought they’d be better to lose to New Day a thousand times so they could spitefully end a longest reign record. Oh well, whatever and ever amen.

Derek – Does anyone else miss The New Day? Cesaro and Sheamus’ poor teamwork and aggressive antics were certainly entertaining to start, but after ending The New Day’s incredible (and incredibly long) title reign and feeling pretty stagnant ever since, I really, really just want The New Day to get their titles back. A kickoff match with arguably the most directionless tag team in the brand today is probably not the way to make the Tag Titles exciting again. In any case, I think that Sheasaro will retain.

Josh – It’s too soon for Cesaro and Sheamus to lose the belts after all that build up, so they’ll be my picks to walk out with the titles.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Matt – The Club should hold the belts until Wrestlemania. I don’t know who they should lose the belts too though. Honestly they should hold the titles for a while until DIY gets called up. I’d love the shit out of a DIY/Club feud.

Derek – I expect this feud to continue for some time, but I don’t think that Gallows and Anderson get their hands on the titles.

Josh – This situation just sucks because The Club came in with so much momentum, but so many losses have stifled any excitement most of us had for them. Let’s hope WWE pulls something out of their hat before Mania to keep them relevant, with a possible win at Mania in front of a smark crowd to sell the moment.

MATCH 2: SASHA BANKS vs. NIA JAX

Sasha Banks – A legit boss who has won and lose the women’s belt a lot

Nia Jax – A big intimidating bad-ass who sounds like Linda Belcher.

WHO WILL WIN:
Matt – Nia Jax. I love Sasha but there’s no reason for her to win this if they’re trying to continue to make Nia the super dominating heel.

Derek – It’s been a tough few weeks for Sasha at the hands of Jax, and I think that the Royal Rumble kickoff match will be a great opportunity for The Boss to get some revenge, and also show that, if you have the skills and a lot of heart, you don’t have to be dominated by Nia’s incredible power. Also, is it super weird to anyone else that Sasha is now part of the Kickoff show after having so many huge PPV moments over the past year?

Josh – Nia will take this. The story seems to be focused on Sasha’s attempt at redemption, but not every story has a fairy tale ending.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Matt – Sasha will probably be a little MIA for a bit until Bayley is wearing the belt. The feud of Banks and Bayley was amazing. I could see this match being a scenario to write Sasha off with an injury. Nia Jax will eventually challenge the champion who will also eventually be Bayley.

Derek – Well, Bayley is definitely (probably… maybe) going to end Charlotte’s PPV win streak, and then it’s time for a feud between Bayley and Charlotte.

Josh – The smart move would be to have Sasha continuously fall on hard times, (daddy), so she’ll be justified when she inevitably turns heel like she should have all along. But more on that later.

MATCH 3 – Rich Swann vs. Neville

Rich Swann: The current Cruiserweight champion… he loves to dance and fight

Neville: Proof that turning heel makes you over almost immediately makes you more over.

WHO WILL WIN:

Matt – This should go to Neville. I realize that it’d be making the Cruiserweight belt the biggest hot potato belt in WWE right now bouncing between 4 champions in just as many months but I think Neville is the dominating heel champion that the division desperately needs.

Derek – After seeing Neville’s new attitude and his unreal performance at the WWE’s UK tournament, it seems like the company may be ready to give the high flying superstar the push that he’s deserved for some time. Rich Swan is entertaining as hell, but from the first time I saw Neville in the ring when I began watching WWE just over a year ago, I’ve wanted to see The Man That Gravity Forgot with a belt on him. It’s Neville’s time to shine at this year’s Royal Rumble.

Josh – Since returning, not only has Neville single handedly revived a division that was dying the moment it arrived, but he’s also one of the best parts of Raw as a whole lately. I’m guessing Neville takes it to continue his dominating streak, although WWE does have a habit of making idiotic decisions at times.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Matt – Rematch obviously which Rich Swinn will also lose. I could see Neville holding the belt for a while until someone else gets unexpectedly gets called up or signed. Like Zach Sabre Jr… yeah that’d be cool. Let’s go with that.

Derek – I think this could be a great rivalry that could continue for at least a few weeks on 205Live. These are definitely my favourite players in the cruiserweight division at this point.

Josh – Does it matter? Neville is the only one in the Cruiserweight division with a semblance of a character that isn’t one dimensional. Let him keep running through the division until an underdog finally takes him down. I’m all for Akira Tozawa or Gran Matalik being the ones who do it as long as they’re written half way competently.

MATCH 4 – Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella & Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James and Natalya

It’s a lot of work to break down all 6 of those so I’ll simplify why their where they are.

Becky Lynch lost in a match against Alexa Bliss to get her belt back because of Mickie James. Natayla and Nikki Bella have been feuding for reasons and Naomi wants to be relevant.

WHO WILL WIN:

Matt – Honestly it doesn’t matter but I’d say that Mickie James gets the pin.

Derek – I’m definitely looking forward to this one, though it may mostly be because I’m excited to see some of the WWE’s female superstars face off against potentially different opponents than their regular weekly combatants. As Alexa has won the past few of her duels with Becky Lynch, I anticipate the team of Becky, Nikki, and Naomi gaining the pin in this match.

Josh – With Mickie James on the heel team, it would make no sense to have her lose immediately after re-debuting. This isn’t Lucha Underground after all! So yeah, Team Bliss takes this one.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Matt – Alexa Bliss will have a title shot against Naomi, Becky will have matches again Mickie James for a bit and Nikki and Natayla will probably have something in the Elimination Chamber.

Derek – The WWE hires more women and it means we get more variance in weekly matches? I still want to see Eva Marie become champion.

Josh – All of the existing feuds will continue into Elimination Chamber since these multi person matches are usually filler that resolve nothing. What would be really cool is if these six return in the first ever women’s Elimination Chamber match, but that’s just wishful thinking since WWE typically saves their “history” for Raw.

MATCH 5 – Charlotte Flair vs. Bayley

Charlotte Flair – Her dad is Ric Flair and she’s won the women’s champion a bunch of times.

Bayley – She’s the superfan that we all are in our heart of hearts.

WHO WILL WIN:

Matt – Charlotte. End of sentence. Nothing more to see here. Sorry Bayley.

Derek – After a totally of 983 Pay-Per View wins (and an I’ll-remember-it-forever rivalry with Sasha Banks that had Charlotte come out on top), I think that this Sunday will break Charlotte’s long, long Pay-Per View win streak. It’s going to be glorious.

Josh – Charlotte will retain via some form of tomfoolery to keep her PPV streak alive. One way or another, Bayley will be screwed out of the match, justifying a return match between the two in some form at Wrestlemania.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Matt – Bayley will have another chance at Wrestlemania. That’s the place where Charlotte should lose her undefeated pay-per-view streak. I’m assume Charlotte will win by some type of interference for Bayley to have a reason for the rematch. Maybe Nia Jax run in or a Dana Brooke return or the debut of Emmalina.

Derek – I think that Charlotte needs a break from the spotlight. Naturally, both Women’s divisions are tiny, so I expect to see a few months of back and forth between Bayley and Sasha Banks.

Josh – This feud will be dragged into Wrestlemania, where Charlotte’s streak will be broken by Bayley, either in a one on one match, or in a fatal four way that adds Sasha and Nia in the mix. From there, Sasha’s jealousy will take over and force her to turn on Bayley for accomplishing what Sasha couldn’t after months of trying. Then, The Boss will be back. Not the one who says it and doesn’t back it up, but The Boss we grew to love in NXT.

MATCH 6 – Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns (with Chris Jericho suspended in a Shark cage)

Kevin Owens – He’s our current Universal Champion and his best friend is Chris Jericho who always interferes on his behalf.

Roman Reigns – Gives Vince McMahon boners all the time. No one really likes him much but Vince loves him and gives him the belt too much.

WHO WILL WIN:
Matt – Only so I see two possible things happening and neither of them involves a clean win. If Reigns wins due it will be due to a Seth Rollins run in since it’s a no DQ match but if Owens win it will 100% be due to Jericho dropping something from the cage because that happens EVERY SINGLE TIME a shark cage is involved in a match. So which scenario is more likely, the fan in me wants to see Kevin Owens retain but honestly I can see them going with the Roman Reigns right now. Not just because it’d make Vince’s nipples hard but because the Seth interference would make sense for multiple reasons. Seth was screwed out of the title for Owens to win and it would continue the Seth wants to fuck over Triple H angle.

Derek – I can’t wait for this match. Seeing KO’s best friend Chris Jericho get in the way of the current Reign’s / Romans rivalry has been entertaining over the past month or so, but the gimmick of having Chris Jericho suspended above the ring is going to be incredibly entertaining. I can’t wait to hear him yelling at Reigns while cheering on Owens, and I fully expect Owens to take the match, and to have Jericho turn on Owens as soon as Chris exits that shark cage (or to take out Owens during the Rumble match, thus ending their friendship).

Josh – I hate to say this, but with Roman losing the US Title and an obvious Jericho vs Owens feud brewing for Mania, Reigns is walking out of this match as the Universal Champion. I’m guessing Jericho tries to drop something into the ring before Roman gets his hands on it and Superman Punch’s Kevin into oblivion.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Matt – Owens will eventually fight Jericho at Wrestlemania. It will either be for the Universal Title… but not likely. I still think Owens will pop-up powerbomb Jericho into a “I have an album to release and tour to go on” injury. If Reigns win I could see him wrestling someone like Brawn Strowman or … really that’s the only person that’s a heel he hasn’t fought on Raw unless they have him wrestle a Smackdown guy

Derek – A sweet, sweet rivalry between Jericho and Owens leading into a huge blowoff match at this year’s Wrestlemania. It has to happen.

Josh – Reigns will walk into Mania and defend the championship against Undertaker, who I’m expecting to win the Rumble later in the night. Owens and Jericho will go on to feud, having one of the better undercard matches on the show.

MATCH 7 – AJ Styles vs. John Cena

A.J. Styles – Some Guy from Georgia … but also our WWE World Heavyweight Champion and fucking amazing

John Cena – Voice of a cartoon Elephant in a Pistachios commercial

WHO WILL WIN:

Matt – A.J. Styles. I realize I’m really going against the odds on this one but I don’t see Cena matching Ric Flair’s title at any pay-per-view other than Wrestlemania or Summerslam. Also just pointing out the last few promos Cena has seemed like a real dick. Not saying a heel turn is coming but… it’d be cool to dream.

Derek – Third time’s the charm? After having two incredible, showstopping matches over the past year (which I’ve definitely gone back to more than once), I think it’s Cena’s time to shine (and also to tie Ric Flair for championship reigns). We’ve been waiting months (and months) for the third match to happen, and with The Club (and any other distractions) out of the way, I’m beyond excited to see these two incredible performers (likely) steal the show once again. Aside from the Rumble match itself, this is the match I’m most looking forward to.

Josh – I would normally go with Cena since history shows that he ALWAYS gets his win back. But this time is different. His 16th championship is special, and shouldn’t happen anywhere but Wrestlemania. So AJ will win, but it won’t be long before John is the champ who runs the camp once again.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Matt – A.J. Styles could have a match against the Miz or if a Raw guy wins the Rumble than John Cena in a rematch where Cena DOES will the belt.

Derek –I could see a cool feud going on between Dean and Cena (or Cena disappearing for a bit to shoot some more TV/Movies). More importantly, I’m hoping that AJ calms down a little bit – I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning of his WWE career, but his ‘The Champ That Runs The Camp’ persona has felt a little too present, and for little too long. Seeing him hit the midcard or simply not be the center of attention for a little while could do a lot to refresh the character.

Josh – Despite assuming AJ is winning here, I don’t see him walking into Mania as champion. Yet, I feel like that’s the only option. Both Cena and AJ will be in the Elimination Chamber match in February, but with a roster so thin, I don’t see who could fill AJ’s shoes heading into the grandest stage of them all. We’re in a weird position without Cena winning the title, but knowing all of this, I’ll go with the long shot and say AJ will defend against Cena one last time at Mania, only for Cena to pull through in Orlando.

MATCH 8 – The Royal Rumble

OKAY So we’re doing something a little different because this is a specialty match (or at least I am)

MAtTT’S DEBUTING PREDICTIONS:
Samoa Joe
Kenny Omega
Tye  Dillinger

MATT’S SURPRISE RETURN PICKS:
Finn Balor

MATT’S WINNING PREDICTIONS:
It depends who wins the title matches but:

AJ Styles retains – Then I could see The Miz winning or (in the unlikely chance he makes a surprise debut) Kenny Omega.
If John Cena Wins – It will be Undertaker
If Roman Reigns Wins – It will be Brawn Strowman
If Kevin Owens Retains – It will be Jericho or Sami Zayn

DEREK’S PREDICTIONS
Who will win: Sami Zayn or Chris Jericho. If it’s Sami, he takes out Strowman to win. If it’s Jericho, he wins by taking out Kevin Owens.

Other Rumble predictions:
Tye Dillinger in at #10 (please!)
Both Pete Dunne AND Tyler Bate show up
The Hardy’s return! (I can dream)
Kurt Angle is in the final five
Triple H is NOT in the Rumble
Nakamura is in the Rumble, and heads to RAW afterwards.

JOSH’S PREDICTIONS
Brock and Goldberg will obviously destroy most of the roster, but they’ll end up taking each other out, I’m sure. Once they’re gone, that clears the way for Undertaker or Strowman to win. Considering Strowman being in a title match at Mania sounds as good of an idea as gathering around to watch someone’s staph infection burst, I think that Taker will win and fight for the title one last time at the show that’s defined him for the last decade of his career.

Debuts and surprises:
Kurt Angle
Tye Dillinger at #10
Samoa Joe’s official debut.
Eric Young as the annual NXT wrestler who isn’t actually being called up yet.
Sid, just for the hell of it.