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Fantasy Booking: Elimination Chamber 2017

Friday 10th February 2017 by Saintmort

I don’t know why but I do love the Elimination Chamber. In 2014 when I first got into wrestling I remember watching the pay-per-view on an illegal stream with my roommate. We had just moved into our house and had no cable, I was just getting back into wrestling and he was not a fan. I remember him and both crowding around my laptop in awe at the Shield vs. Wyatt Family match that year. It was one of my fondest wrestling memories. Perhaps that’s why I love this pay-per-view despite the fact that it is sometimes skipped in the calendar year (like last year).

MATCH 1: LUKE HARPER VS. RANDY ORTON

So Luke Harper has been a member of the Wyatt Family since like… forever. Randy Orton randomly joined the Wyatt Family and there’s been a little bit of jealousy between these two. Last month at the Royal Rumble Luke turned on Bray and Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble. This is basically a battle for Wyatt’s love.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Randy Orton is going to win this. There’s no way you have the Royal Rumble winner lose in his only pre-Wrestlemania Pay-Per-View. That’d be insane. Don’t get me wrong I’d love for the Luke Harper upset, but that’s just not going to happen.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Randy Orton is going to go to the Royal Rumble to challenge Bray Wyatt (more on that later) and will lose (again, more on that later).

MATCH 2: APOLLO CREWS & KALISTO VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER

Dolph Ziggler was a good guy (face) but really never seemed to be able to get the win when it mattered. Finally he snapped and started being a dick (heel) and beating up Kalisto because he was an easy target. Apollo Crews has repeatedly come to Kalisto’s aide leading to a 2 on 1 Hanidcap match.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Dolph Ziggler will win this. Elimination Chamber is not the feel good victory kind of show. The 2 on 1 handicap stipulation seems to only build Dolph Ziggler’s heel persona to be an even more legitimate threat.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Dolph is going to continue to be heel and Apollo Crews is going to eventually beat him fairly unceremoniously. I do believe that Crews has the talent to be top of the mountain one day, but he’s lacking the character right now.

MATCH 3: BECKY LYNCH VS. MICKIE JAMES

Becky Lynch was the Smackdown Women’s champion she lost the belt to Alexa Bliss in a genuinely shocking moment. Just when it looked like Lynch was about to win her belt back she was attacked by a returning Mickie James. Lynch has put her quest to get the Smackdown Women’s belt back on hold to take care of Mickie James first.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

First I want to say kudos to Smackdown for having a logical reason for Becky Lynch to stop focusing on the Smackdown belt that doesn’t seem forced and makes sense to her character. I think Becky is going to win this. It seems weird with this being Mickie’s first real Pay-Per-View singles match in years but when I very briefly met Mickie a few years ago she seemed really focused on putting over younger talents above all else. I think after so many losses recently Becky could use a good Pay-Per-View win.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Becky will turn her focus back to the Smackdown Championship for Wrestlemania … and lose.

MATCH 4: ALEXA BLISS VS. NAOMI

After being gone for months Naomi presented an open challenge to anyone who wanted a fight. Bliss took this as a chance to come out and mock Naomi for being irrelevant. When Naomi pinned Bliss in a tag match last week a title match was created for the two.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Bliss is 100% winning this. While Naomi has definitely been impressive Bliss and Lynch is the Wrestlemania match we deserve to see.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

Bliss will beat Lynch at Wrestlemania. This will seem like an odd choice but I genuinely believe that Auska will be debuting on Smackdown shortly after Wrestlemania and challenging Bliss for the belt and fucking DESTROYING her.

MATCH 5: AMERICAN ALPHA vs. BEAUTY AND THE MANBEAST vs. BREEZANGO vs. THE USOS vs. THE ASCENSION vs. THE VAUDEVILLIANS

After feeling like their Tag Team run has been under-utilized American Alpha said they were having an open challenge for the belts resulting in 5 teams coming out at once to challenge for the belts. It was then decided to let all 6 teams fight it out with the titles on the line.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Unfortunately the Tag Team division in Smackdown is pretty rough. Two of these four teams are made up of under-utilized singles wrestlers forced into a tag team. We keep waiting for Beauty and the Manbeast to break up and while I adore Breezango and want them to get more than they’ve been given I don’t see that happening any time soon (but Smackdown has a style of it’s own that makes it not out of the question). That being said, I don’t forsee American Alpha losing this one.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

The Revival HAS to show up on Smackdown. You want to get Revival over quickly and you want people to care about American Alpha? Give us a Revival vs. American Alpha match. These are two tag-teams that NEED each other. They put on historic matches that will stick in your brain. Put that on Wrestlemania and it will be the show-stealing match.

MATCH 6: NIKKI BELLA VS. NATALYA

Nikki Bella was ambushed at Survivor series. IT was later revealed that it was her friend Natalya who attacked her (this was not a surprise) and they’ve been fighting it out ever since.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

If the rumors that Wrestlemania is going to Nikki’s last match (or other rumors that she’ll be going to a more part-time schedule due to lingering neck issues) then this may be her last chance a feel-good singles match. I’m going to say Nikki for this one.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

As I said I could see Nikki disappearing shortly after this and appearing in Wrestlmania strictly in a multiple tag match in the pre-show like her sister Brie last year. I’d love to See Natalya form an alliance with Mickie James after this.

MATCH 7: ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH BETWEEN JOHN CENA, A.J. STYLES, DEAN AMBROSE, THE MIZ, BARON CORBIN AND BRAY WYATT

John Cena won his 16th Championship last month. It was decided that at Elimination Chamber he would defend his title against five other men. They were basically picked unceremoniously and at random.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

I’m going to agree with general internet speculation that Bray Wyatt wins this. It just seems right. We don’t need another Randy Orton/John Cena match and honestly no one else makes much sense. I see Bray winning this for a big Bray/Randy match

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

So there’s two ways I could see this going…

1) John and A.J. both claiming that they never got a fair rematch for the belt which leads to a fatal fourway. In this scenario I see John getting the belt back and breaking Ric Flair’s record OR A.J. winning … either way I don’t see Bray or Randy leaving a Fatal 4-Way retaining.

2) Bray vs. Randy happens at Wrestlemania and Randy loses when Luke Harper comes to Bray’s aide. I’d love to see Bray get a good long title reign before getting defeated by a now face A.J. Styles at like … SummerSlam or a smaller Smackdown Exclusive Pay-Per-View.

Saintmort

I'm a writer for Geekscape, the host of the Saint Mort Show Podcast and I also blog at www.saintmort.blogspot.com