This is the time of year. San Diego Comic Con is about to begin. This will be my 9th SDCC, and over the years I have developed a keen sense of how to have a crazy fun and pain free adventure into the Geek Mecca. Come with me as I give you some Tips & Tricks from a SDCC veteran. If this is your first year, make sure to check out the guide written up by our own Scott Alminiana! It is perfect for the guy who just doesn’t know what kind of adventure Comic Con is.
First off, the look. Yeah, comic con is the pinnacle of bad fashion and geek T-Shirts. Yeah, it’s okay to wear your 10 year old Joker shirt, but please look tidy. The old, virgin me (literally and figuratively)used to wear the Cargo shorts, Hookups Shirt and Golfing hat. FUCK I thought I looked so fly, but I didn’t. I looked like the comic shop owner from The Simpsons. If you look like an adult, you will be treated like an adult.
Next politeness. Be overly nice. The people working booths are going to be tired and worn thin, so you don’t wanna be THAT guy. Don’t ask a cosplayer to see her tits, even if you had cool Two-Toned hair like I did.
Wanna know what one of the most funnest panels that you don’t think would be fun for the everyday geek? Burn Notice. Or really any of the USA networks panels for that matter. Burn Notice is just Bruce Campbell being Bruce, having fun with the audience and telling funny stories. One year I went to it and he was giving out $20 bills to fans that asked flattering questions. Best part? Everyone in the audience gets a ticket, you go to a secret room hand them the ticket BOOM! Free shirt!
So with most of the common sense out of the way, lets get into the nitty gritty. Preview. Fucking. Night. If you are lucky enough to get into the most exclusive night then you are a lucky goose. First off, DO NOT BRING ANYTHING! The only thing open Preview Night is the convention floor, so it will be packed. The entirety of the attendees will all be sharing the same room together. There wont be a couple thousand in Hall H. There wont be the hundreds hanging out in Ballroom 20. They will all be there with you, cluttering up the main floor. If you have a bag or anything extra to carry, you are going to be bumped, torn and jostled more than an unwanted baby. Do not plan on buying anything either. Yeah, the Death Star collectors set from last year was fucking rad, but I saw a dude literally start crying from having to carry it around the floor for a few hours. Use preview night to check out some of the great booths, like GEEKSCAPE #3919 and pick out some stuff you wanna buy. Do your shopping Thursday or Sunday.
Now we all know the best part of the Con after hours is the fucking parties. There are a shit ton going on all around San Diego. Downtown has a bunch of bars and clubs that cater exclusive events such as the Suicide Girls from years past, after they were banned from SDCC. But you asked “Shane! I am not cool enough to get into some of the exclusive events, an I spent the most of my bribe money on Hasbro Exclusives (Like I am going to). WHAT PARTIES CAN I GET INTO?”. The easiest and cheapest party if you wanna see some cool people, isn’t even a party at all. It is the downstairs lobby bar for the Hyatt just a few blocks away from the convention center. Just wander in and hang out with the important people. This is the place where the famous tussle happened. This is also where I drunkenly yelled at whom I thought to be a random blonde, ended up being Tricia Helfer from BSG. I think I may have called her a stuck up bitch. I can’t remember much from that night.
Now we get to the most important part of the convention. Trying to hookup with hot chicks. Now, for most of you it is going to be a hard task. Most girls hot girls will have their shields up from all the picture requests and just want to head home with good old Mr. Hitachi Magicwand. The dorky nerdy girls will be oblivious to your come ons and more focused on the sweet swag or the KAWAII anime hats. So lets say you strike out preview night. Then Thursday. Then Friday. Saturday morning comes and you are getting desperate. You start browsing Craigslist while in line for signings. You’re getting drastic. Well NEVER FEAR SHANE IS HERE! Most people are aware of the grandiose masquerade. Ballroom 20 turns into cosplay heaven. You will most likely be geared to wandering into the giant ballroom to watch the fun. DO NOT DO THIS! This is a mistake. Instead get into the line dedicated for the ballroom overflow. This will lead you into the Sails Pavilion. Where SDCC has provided you a wonderful room for festivities. They put up a big ass projector and broadcast the costume contest via CCTV for you to see. There are tables, chairs and most importantly BOOZE! The vodka cranberrys they make here are cheap, get you drunk (possibly crunk) and ready for fun. Keep feeding yourself booze until the contest is over. Then you will see the Sails Pavilion turn from modest theater to FANTASTIC NIGHT CLUB! A DJ emerges from the back, the lights go down and the music goes up. What was before a group of conservative and quiet nerds is now a raving mosh pit of drunk party goers. People in costume jumping, dancing and twirling glowsticks is really a sight to be seen. Speaking as an electro DJ, the music is usually pretty good. The best part though is the fruit. The low hanging fruit. AKA the girls who couldn’t get into the Stan Lee party and are bummed out are now drunk and in their slutty Anime Nurse costumes looking for fun. Buy them a Vodka Cranberry, make it a double, and apply dance moves. No one cares how bad you are at it, the only light will be glowsticks and strobes. If you do not care about what kind of costume she is wearing, this is your place to pick up some ladies. This goes to about 1 AM!
PROTIP: Behind the curtains just beyond the DJ booth are more tables. Perfect for an anonymous encounter with a cosplaying lady.
Afterwards if you are still standing, you can find a golf cart and drive it a few blocks to the Hyatt and randomly join up with a BSG tweetup.
So that’s that! Come, have fun, be flexible with your schedule and life will be glorious this weekend. HEY! If you are clever enough with tools, you could make a GoPro mount for your shoes! Perfect for those booth babe photo ops!