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76% Of Players Clicked The Wrong Button As Team Cake Wins More Splatfest Battles In ‘Splatoon 2’

Monday 17th July 2017 by Josh Jackson

The Splatfest World Premiere came and went, with a grueling battle between Team Cake and those other guys coming to a close. As the final results were tallied, it was clear that there was a big mistake somewhere in the voting, as Team Ice Cream technically won.

 

With Inkopolis clearly using hanging CHADS to calculate their votes, Team Ice Cream stole the popularity vote, coming in at 76% to Team Cake’s 24%. The actual in-game results were much closer, with Team Cake winning 53% of their team matches. The tie breaking vote came to solo players, where Team Ice Cream narrowly edged out Team Cake with a 51% win rate. With the new scoring system using a best two out of three rule rather than scoring wins differently than popularity, Marina’s tantalizing tentacles distracted people long enough to break the tie with her supposed popularity win.

Looking at the results, I’m choosing to believe there had to have been some kind of voter fraud since I can’t accept that so many people can be wrong after proving cake is objectively better. Even IF the voting was legit, it wasn’t like Nintendo didn’t sway voters by tainting the polls ahead of the game. Surely there’s some kind of collusion with the Octolings going on here. Thanks to our boots on the ground investigative journalism, we found an indisputable smoking gun.

It’s clear that Reggie’s influence rubbed off on his team both in voting and performance. If you remember his Smash Bros skills at E3 a few years ago, it’s the only way to explain why 76% of players can be so bad that they lost 52% of their total matches to 24% of the participants, but hey. Bad taste tends to go with bad playing.

Did you play on the right side, or are you reveling in your meaningless win? And are you a supporter of voter fraud? Let us know in the comments so we know to block you.